CHAPTER NINE

“So then if you wanna catch a blood berry bandit?” Yumi continued. “Well?”

She did not bother waiting for a response though. Her answer was out of her mouth as soon as she finished asking her question. “You gotta think like one, that's what!”

That was it? Her great idea? Rolf blinked. “Think like a blood berry bandit?” he asked.

“Yes!” Yumi cried, brandishing a leather-covered fist as though in victory.

She put her battle axe down on the ground, letting it stand on its head.

“See,” she said, gesturing with her hands, “if you can think like a blood berry bandit, you can predict what it's gonna do, where it's gonna go, and stuff. Yeah. Pretty heavy stuff. Luckily, there's a trick to it and I happen to know it!”

When Rolf and Sven did not say anything, she continued, “You see, first you have to narrow down your choices. There are different kinds of blood berry bandits, right? For instance, it could be a monster like a dire goat or a berry snake or even a, um, a fruit dragon. Yeah, a fruit dragon, that's it!”

“Fruit dragons don't exist though,” Rolf pointed out. “They're fictitious monsters created by renowned children's book author Anita Frankinson in the fifth volume of her Vegetable Vanguard series.”

“Er,” Yumi went, “um, yeah, I knew that. I was just testing you. Yeah, that's right. What I meant to say was, um, abominable bush beast? Yeah, that's it! Abominable--”

“Still Anita Frankinson, this time in the first volume of her Ballad of the Mountain Hermit Crab series.”

“Oh, you know what I mean!” Yumi cried. “Fine! Whatever! My point still stands. There are different kinds of blood berry bandits. It could be a monster that's gone berry crazy. Or it could be something else like a thieving goblin or a band of gypsies or a traveling merchant even. So which is it exactly, you ask? How do you narrow it down?”

Again she did not wait for Rolf or Sven to answer. “Well, it's easy if you think about it. It's just a simple process of elimination, that's all. You take one option, put yourself in its shoes, and then move on to the next option if it doesn't fit the evidence.”

Yumi crossed her arms, a smug look on her face, and this time seem to be waiting for questions, if any. Not that she expected any for it was a brilliant idea, one worthy of applause even and she was sure that Rolf and Sven understood her equally brilliant explanation.

But even on the off chance that there were any questions, she was sure that she could easily provide more than sufficient answers.

Suddenly she moved and pointed with an outstretched arm. “Yes, Sven?” she shouted.

Sven had sheathed his sword and was raising his hand.

“So this is where thinking like a blood berry bandit comes in?” he asked.

“Correct!” Yumi replied enthusiastically. She tapped the side of her forehead with a finger. “But that's the tricky part, see? It’s not enough that you figure out how to think and act like the critter, which is hard enough, let me tells ya, it takes a sharp, cunning mind and a twisted, devious personality to truly pull it off, but you need to really put yourself in its shoes as in you need to become the critter in both mind and body. Well, not body literally but you know what I mean.”

“You need to get inside its head. What are its motivations? What are its fears? Why did it come here? Why does it do what it does? Does it like coffee? Does it question its own existence and that of the gods?”

Sven glanced over to Rolf. “Coffee?” he mouthed but Rolf only shrugged in response.

“Those are the questions you need to ask,” Yumi was saying. “Hard questions that only certain type of mind can answer. That mind of a hunter. Fortunately, I was raised by one of the best hunters around. My father.”

“Wait,” Rolf said then. “I thought your father was a basket maker.”

“No, no.” Yumi shook her head. “Not that one. I meant my other father. He was a dance instructor.”

Rolf considered saying something but then sighed and decided to just let it go.