CHAPTER TEN

Raising a finger, Yumi continued her explanation. “For instance,” she said, “say you’re considering that this was indeed the work of a dire goat just like Master Severin suspected. The first thing you need to do is get into the proper mind set. You need to, um, think and act like a dire goat. Yeah, that’s right! And once you have that down, you can go even deeper. And the deeper you go, the more successful you’ll be in bagging the critter.”

Keeping her hands up and close to her chest, she proceeded to hop around like a kangaroo, completely forgetting, it seemed, that dire goats were quadrupeds, even as she expounded, “Think like a dire goat. Act like a dire goat. Be the dire goat!”

Eyes watery with gleeful tears, the others exhibited a tremendous amount of self-control. They remained tight-lipped and said nothing although an amused smile did manage to escape from the corner of Sven's mouth.

Yumi stopped. She looked to the right and then to the left, her eyes narrowing shrewdly. “So here you are,” she said thus, “the dire goat. You've traveled far and you are tired and thirsty and hungry. You've been following the scent of your favorite food lingering in the air for days and there it is now standing in front of you.” She gestured to the nearby bush.

She hopped on over to the bush whereupon she grabbed a handful of blood berries and before Rolf or Sven could utter a word of warning, she crammed them into her mouth.

“Yumi, no...” Rolf finally managed to say.

“Mmmmm, berries!” Yumi went as she chewed with gusto, bright red berry juice dribbling down her chin.

Presently, her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. A torrent of juice, pulp, and saliva gushed out of her mouth. “Bleeeccchhh! So bitter!”

Sven turned to Rolf and murmured, “Guess she should've put herself in the shoes of blood berry bush first.”

Rolf could not help himself and grinned in response.

Yumi then covered her mouth with her right hand and clutched at her stomach with the other. “Woooghhh,” she mumbled, “I don’t feel so good...”

“I knew it,” Rolf said. “I knew you were in no shape at all to go out on a job. You’re still drunk, aren’t you? And those berries just made things worse. If you’re going to barf, I suggest--”

Just then there was a loud growling noise, so loud that it seemed to reverberate across the moonlit field of blood berry bushes. It came from Yumi’s stomach.

Sven nearly keeled over with surprise and disbelief.

While Rolf, on the other hand, could only stare incredulously. After a moment of silence, Rolf muttered, “Yumi...”

“What?” Yumi asked. “I’m hungry. Those berries can really stimulate the appetite and I haven’t had anything to eat since, well, since the tavern.”

“Yumi, that was only a couple of hours ago!” Rolf exclaimed.

“I can’t help it!” Yumi cried. “I’m hungry! What? Don’t look at me like that! I’m still a growing girl, dang it!”

“Still a growing...? What the heck are you talking about? You’re already twen--”

Rolf was interrupted a loud crash of branches and timber breaking and rustling of leaves that seemed to sound from the far end of the field. It was shortly followed by monstrous, angry bellowing.

Whelp. They were now sure of one thing. Whatever it was, it was definitely not a dire goat.

“Say,” Sven wondered out loud as they all ran towards the source of the sound, “what the heck is a berry snake?” 

 

CHAPTER NINE

“So then if you wanna catch a blood berry bandit?” Yumi continued. “Well?”

She did not bother waiting for a response though. Her answer was out of her mouth as soon as she finished asking her question. “You gotta think like one, that's what!”

That was it? Her great idea? Rolf blinked. “Think like a blood berry bandit?” he asked.

“Yes!” Yumi cried, brandishing a leather-covered fist as though in victory.

She put her battle axe down on the ground, letting it stand on its head.

“See,” she said, gesturing with her hands, “if you can think like a blood berry bandit, you can predict what it's gonna do, where it's gonna go, and stuff. Yeah. Pretty heavy stuff. Luckily, there's a trick to it and I happen to know it!”

When Rolf and Sven did not say anything, she continued, “You see, first you have to narrow down your choices. There are different kinds of blood berry bandits, right? For instance, it could be a monster like a dire goat or a berry snake or even a, um, a fruit dragon. Yeah, a fruit dragon, that's it!”

“Fruit dragons don't exist though,” Rolf pointed out. “They're fictitious monsters created by renowned children's book author Anita Frankinson in the fifth volume of her Vegetable Vanguard series.”

“Er,” Yumi went, “um, yeah, I knew that. I was just testing you. Yeah, that's right. What I meant to say was, um, abominable bush beast? Yeah, that's it! Abominable--”

“Still Anita Frankinson, this time in the first volume of her Ballad of the Mountain Hermit Crab series.”

“Oh, you know what I mean!” Yumi cried. “Fine! Whatever! My point still stands. There are different kinds of blood berry bandits. It could be a monster that's gone berry crazy. Or it could be something else like a thieving goblin or a band of gypsies or a traveling merchant even. So which is it exactly, you ask? How do you narrow it down?”

Again she did not wait for Rolf or Sven to answer. “Well, it's easy if you think about it. It's just a simple process of elimination, that's all. You take one option, put yourself in its shoes, and then move on to the next option if it doesn't fit the evidence.”

Yumi crossed her arms, a smug look on her face, and this time seem to be waiting for questions, if any. Not that she expected any for it was a brilliant idea, one worthy of applause even and she was sure that Rolf and Sven understood her equally brilliant explanation.

But even on the off chance that there were any questions, she was sure that she could easily provide more than sufficient answers.

Suddenly she moved and pointed with an outstretched arm. “Yes, Sven?” she shouted.

Sven had sheathed his sword and was raising his hand.

“So this is where thinking like a blood berry bandit comes in?” he asked.

“Correct!” Yumi replied enthusiastically. She tapped the side of her forehead with a finger. “But that's the tricky part, see? It’s not enough that you figure out how to think and act like the critter, which is hard enough, let me tells ya, it takes a sharp, cunning mind and a twisted, devious personality to truly pull it off, but you need to really put yourself in its shoes as in you need to become the critter in both mind and body. Well, not body literally but you know what I mean.”

“You need to get inside its head. What are its motivations? What are its fears? Why did it come here? Why does it do what it does? Does it like coffee? Does it question its own existence and that of the gods?”

Sven glanced over to Rolf. “Coffee?” he mouthed but Rolf only shrugged in response.

“Those are the questions you need to ask,” Yumi was saying. “Hard questions that only certain type of mind can answer. That mind of a hunter. Fortunately, I was raised by one of the best hunters around. My father.”

“Wait,” Rolf said then. “I thought your father was a basket maker.”

“No, no.” Yumi shook her head. “Not that one. I meant my other father. He was a dance instructor.”

Rolf considered saying something but then sighed and decided to just let it go.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Rolf continued staring at Yumi's back as they walked among the blood berry bushes. She had insisted on taking point and would hear no arguments otherwise. It was clear they had little choice but to let her get her way or else they would never get anything done that evening.

And so he set Sven to watch the rear. No sense in having two tanks in the front.

Rolf wondered how Yumi was able to keep on her feet and steady at that, what all the alcohol she had consumed. He had fully expected her to fall off her horse the moment she got on it and yet here she was. She had made it all the way to Severin's plantation without any issues whatsoever.

To boot, she appeared to have make quite the remarkable recovery. Aside from the stench of the vapors emanating from the pores of her skin, she didn't look like the hopeless drunk that she was a couple of hours ago. It really was amazing. No unsteadiness. No stumbling. No slurring. No incoherent babbling. She appeared to be in complete control of her faculties.

“So, what's the plan?”

Rolf glanced back at Sven.

“Well?” the man inquired. “Do we just walk around at random and hope we get lucky or what?”

“We could do that,” Rolf replied, “but we don't have the luxury of time. Morning deadline if you recall. Plus, I really want to get this done quickly.”

Sven pursed his lips in thought. “What?” he evenually commented. “You getting one of your bad feelings again? Can't say I blame you. Even I'm getting it. That old weasel's up to something.”

“So what's the plan then?” he asked again.

Rolf replied, “I figured we'd look around for some damaged blood berry bushes and go on from there. Those things are bound to be easier to find than whatever it is we're looking for. And who knows? They might still be around.”

“Huh.” Sven paused. “Wait. I thought we were looking for dire goats.”

“That's what Severin's hoping for at least. We don't really know and that's the problem. It could be anything. Dire goats. Goblins. Could be thieves. Or economic saboteurs. It could even be thugs sent by an unscrupulous competitor for all we know.”

“Aw, not to worry!” Yumi declared. “You can leave it up to me, guys! I've got it all figured out!”

Rolf and Sven looked at each other and then at Yumi, who had swung around and struck a pose. Grinning from ear to ear, her battle axe resting against her left shoulder, she was pointing at her chest with her right thumb.

After a while, Rolf turned towards Sven and said, “So I was thinking we head on over to--”

“Oh, come on, Rolf!” Yumi protested. “I'm being serious here! I really do have a good idea. It's a great idea in fact!”

Sven chuckled and Rolf could not help but smile. Even sober, it was so easy to get a rise out of the girl.

“Fine, fine,” he said, raising a hand in apology. “We'll hear you out.”

“Great!” Yumi exclaimed. “I'll show you! I'll show you all! Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!” An evil glint flashing at the corner of her eye.

She caught herself and coughed.

“Okay,” Rolf thought. “That was new.” He gave Sven a sideward glance. Sven was probably thinking the same thing.

When she had finally recovered enough composure, she said, “It's really quite simple, you know. It's so simple even an idiot can figure it out. You know the old saying. If you wanna catch a thief, you gotta think like a thief.”

Rolf stroked his mustache, resisting the urge to say anything. He may not have been that deeply acquainted with the girl but he knew enough to know that Yumi and “thinking like a thief” as she put it went together like water and oil. Honest to a fault that one, that it hurt like hell to watch her tell a white lie.

Sven opened his mouth to say something but then thought better of it.

CHAPTER SEVEN

“What!? No, you’re not!” Rolf cried. “Now sit down and finish your drink already so we can take you to your room.”

But Yumi was not listening. She straightened up as best she drunkenly could and clumsily saluted the old merchant.

“Mayumi Dela Torre!” she declared. “At your service!”

“Oh, my,” Severin commented with a chuckle. “I didn't realize you picked up a new partner, Rolf. I thought it would always be just you and Sven but, my, you certainly did picky a lively one.”

“Oh, come on!” Rolf protested. “You know very well she's not--”

“You can leave it to us, shiny-headed merchant!” Yumi declared out loud. She had climbed on to her chair and had placed one boot on the edge of the table. Raising a tankard high in the air, she continued, “Those critters don't stand a chance with us around! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!”

Rolf had tried but no matter what he did or said, he could not dissuade her and Severin was strangely accommodating despite the amount of money that was involved.
And so he found himself and Sven trudging along in the middle of the night smack dab in the middle of blood berry central looking for dire goats with Yumi in tow.
Rolf sighed for the upteenth time but this time shook his head in resignation. Whelp, there was no helping it, he supposed. He will just have to keep a close eye on Yumi and make sure she did not make too much of a mess of things. Or worse, get herself killed doing something reckless again.

By some coincidence, he happened to be present when Yumi went out on her first monster hunt as an apprentice slayer. He was filing some papers at the guild headquarters which was just next door to the Slayer Academy and was asked by one the guild masters if he could fill in for an instructor who had called in sick. Her performance that day left a lot to be desired.

That was not to say that she performed terribly. Oh, no. Far from it. It was because of her that her party managed to bag the biggest monster for their grade level that year, an albino dwarf dragon, a creature that even experienced Axe Slayers would have some difficulty putting down let alone the older students. And to his knowledge that record remained unbroken.

Even back then, Yumi's impressive physical power and talent for mayhem were already making themselves evident. And so was her extraordinary luck.

Indeed, she was a warrior that Rolf would gladly have at his side were it not for that potentially fatal flaw: she had no head whatsoever for strategy and tactics. To boot, she was reckless as hell.

Together with two other instructors, Rolf had accompanied Yumi and her four companions into the third level of the Well of Monsters. Though it was just first time beyond the second level, it was just supposed to be a routine practical exercise for young, aspiring Axe Slayers fresh out of their first year of training. The plan was to let them wet their feet hunting low-level monsters like goblins, giant vermin, and such for the first three days of Creeper's Week before finally heading off to the fourth level.

Yeah, that had been the plan at least. Nobody could have predicted that a monster you would normally encounter in the fifth level would show up on the third level. The albino dwarf dragon was clearly too much apprentice slayers to handle by themselves but it was still a good opportunity for valuable learning experience.

And so it was decided to let them have a go at it with the instructors standing by the sidelines, ready to swoop in at a moment's notice should the need arose. Bringing down an albino dwarf dragon was gonna be a tricky affair to be sure for three people and with the gear they had on hand but they were confident, at least, that they'd be able to keep it at bay long enough for the apprentice slayers to escape.

As expected, it didn't take long for the apprentice slayers to figure out they were well in over their heads and just when they were about to decide how best to effect a retreat, Yumi let out an ear-piercing war cry and, waving her battle axes wildly in the air, she rushed headlong towards the monster.

Yeah. Reckless as hell. Absolutely fearless. That's what she was.

Of course, that was around a couple of years ago. Enough time for one to mellow out a bit and learn a little moderation at least.

Rolf highly doubted it though.

CHAPTER SIX

A few hours later found Rolf, Sven, and Yumi in the middle of an expansive field of bushes overladen with red berries with only the full moon above for illumination and guide. 

Rolf had on a green, short-sleeved tunic, over which he wore a dark green, hooded cloak. Underneath his tunic could be seen glimpses of silver mail gleaming in the moonlight. As was his wont when on the job, he carried his weapon, a hand axe, with his right hand whilst a couple of long daggers hung in their sheaths from his woven leather belt.

Sven walked a couple of yards behind Rolf, broadsword at the ready and his face barely visible behind the opening of his helm. The reinforced wooden shield he carried with his other hand was round, about two feet in diameter. One might think it odd for a man clad in heavy plate armor to opt for a wooden shield but as Sven himself put it, “My uncle had a wooden shield and his uncle had one and his uncle’s uncle had one, so it only makes sense that I would have one as well.”

Yumi was out in front. In full gear now, she was wearing a long-sleeved leather armor over which she had strapped across her chest a belt of copper-colored cartridges, each one around a couple of inches long. She carried a single-edged battle axe, gripping with thick leather gauntlets, and she had a second weapon hanging from the belt around her waist, another battle axe with a short handle and an ornate double-edged head.

Rolf stared at Yumi’s back as they warily plodded along between the lines of bushes and wondered not for the last time how in the heck they got themselves into this situation. Of course, it was something Severin had hired them to do and, of course, they were being amply compensated for their trouble, to the point well past generosity even as to be mighty suspicious.

And true enough, alarm bells were ringing like there was no tomorrow in Rolf’s gut but he saw very little choice in the matter. It was either take the money or do it for free, of this he was sure. Rolf sighed.

But it was just supposed to be the two of them, him and Sven. Yumi was not supposed to be part of the bargain. In fact, she was in no condition at all to be out and walking about let alone on a dangerous job. The way she had been drinking, there was enough alcohol in her system to stop a bull elephant dead in its tracks.

Rolf winced as he recalled how the conversation went.

“As you well know,” Severin had mentioned, “I own several properties not only here in Southbarne proper but in the surrounding regions as well. In particular, I have this blood berry plantation overlooking Red Cedar Lake a few miles east of here. It seems that someone or something has been attacking my crops in the middle of the night, damaging or uprooting the bushes and eating up all the berries.”

Severin paused and he wiped the sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief then continued. “Fortunately the buildings have been spared and none of my workers have been hurt. As of yet at least. We’ve set up traps around the plantation perimeter but no luck thus far. I suspect it might be a dire goat or even two. But, of course, it might be something entirely different. I want you to find out and put an end to whatever it is that’s been ruining my crops.”

Blood berries. Ugh. Rolf grimaced as he looked at the small red dots peppering the bushes around him. He didn’t care much for blood berries. Though far from being lethally toxic, Rolf found them quite unpalatable with its bitter sour taste and its juice that reeked of strong vinegar. The locals didn’t care much for them either.

They were quite popular up north though which made their cultivation quite lucrative. Among other things, they were essential in the manufacture of certain dyes and in the making of bloodred wine.

“Dire goats? Here?” Rolf remembered asking. “That’s highly unlikely don’t you think? They live high up the Ivory Spine.”

“Ah, not as unusual as you might think, my friend,” Severin had replied. “I’ve heard news of sightings as close as the Foothills of Hazzen.”

“Still,” Rolf commented, “I do not see why you would insist on us for the task. As troublesome as dire goats may be, they’re not something that any other member of the Axe Slayers Guild worth his salt couldn’t handle. Or of the Broken Blade Guild for that matter.”

“Oh, I would have hired others if I had to,” Severin declared with a slight smile. “But thankfully, there was no call for it. I have need of adventurers I can trust not only to do the job right but to keep quiet about it as well and there’s no one I trust more than you two. Now, now, spare me the speech about the integrity and professionalism of the guilds. Let’s just say I utter confidence in the two of you and would be more at ease with you on the job than anyone else and leave it at that. And besides, I know that speech by heart.”

“Fine then,” Rolf stated. “An overnight monster hunt, delivery by morning. Standard hush job. I take it you want the ‘No questions asked’ option as well? I must confess to being curious though. All this ado about dire goats of all things is highly irregular.”

“Yes, I will take the whole package.” Severin nodded. “And I will you pay a total of a thousand gold imperials each provided you keep property damage to a minimum.”

“A thousand gold imperials!?” Yumi exclaimed incredulously before Rolf could say anything in reply. “Woo-hoo! I’m in!”